On Reproductive Health Reality Check (a terrific website I just recently discovered), Jane Fonda writes that Adolescent Pregnancy Must Become a Priority for All Americans. Teen pregnancy and birth are on the rise in this country, which is really sad. Blog your thoughts about it today and spread the word that action and awareness are needed!
I hear many questions that kids ask about how to avoid getting a girl pregnant. There are rumors that you won’t get pregnant if you have sex standing up, or withdraw just before the guy cums, or only have sex at certain times of the month (that last is called the rhythm method of birth control. You know what they call a girl who uses the rhythm method, right? “Mom”). None of these is a reliable technique, and it seems to me that maybe people wouldn’t even consider them viable if we started out in the first place with a very basic explanation. Here it is.
How to get a girl pregnant:
Get viable sperm within reaching distance of a fertile egg.
That’s it. It’s that simple. Any activity you do that does this has a decent chance of getting someone pregnant. But let’s break it down.
First, what’s “Reaching Distance”?
Okay, sperm are motile. That means they can move. They have a little tail that whips back and forth to propel them along. Some people call them “little wrigglers” for this reason. They can travel a matter of inches, and they can survive for a while outside of the body, which is why artificial insemination works. Let’s consider anywhere within a couple inches of the outside of a girl’s vagina (this includes all her labia and other external genitalia down there) to be “within reach.”
Where do sperm come from?
They are produced and stored in the testicles, which are connected to the penis along with a series of ducts and various glands that produce fluids involved in sex. You’ve probably heard of semen, for instance, which is a mixture of sperm and a fluid produced by the seminal vesicles and prostate gland. You can see diagrams and all kinds of terms on this helpful site here. The point where the helpfulness of that site and other sex education materials breaks down is with sentences like this one: “When the male ejaculates during intercourse, semen is deposited into the female’s vagina.” Now, there’s nothing untrue about that sentence. However, it is the only mention in that document of how sperm might get into the vagina. In other words, it’s not the whole story.
There is another fluid that comes out of the penis called pre-ejaculate, or pre-cum, which is produced during arousal and before ejaculation (hence the name). This fluid can also have sperm in it. If you think about it, this makes sense—it comes out of the same plumbing as semen and it’s not like there are traffic cops in there saying “No, this isn’t an ejaculation, you sperm have to wait your turn.”
Further, the sentence quoted above only talks about ejaculation during intercourse. It doesn’t talk about ejaculation before intercourse, or after intercourse, or near but not in the vagina. So it’s easy to get the impression that ejaculation that happens with the dipstick deep in the tube is the only road to conception and pregnancy. That impression would be wrong.
Basically, getting an unprotected penis anywhere in contact with the female genitals—especially a penis that is aroused or that has just recently been involved in sexual activity—is possibly a way to get her pregnant. Alternatively, you can also get fluids containing sperm on or into the vagina with something other than the penis, namely your hands (or a syringe—remember the artificial insemination picture? Keep that in mind: objects other than the penis can transport sperm, is all I’m saying). Sex games that involve ejaculating on someone’s chest or face or in their mouth have a very low chance of getting someone pregnant, but you should take care not to have hands—yours or hers—that have played in those games then play with her genitals without washing the hands first.
Okay, so what about the other side of the equation? How do you know if there’s a fertile egg in the picture?
To be on the safe side, you should assume anyone female you might be propositioning could potentially get pregnant. The onset of a girl’s period, or menses, is the symptomatic indication that a girl’s body has started to mature and participate in the monthly cycle of producing fertile eggs and preparing for pregnancy and then discarding the eggs and other preparation materials from the body (which is what causes the monthly “bleeding” that is not exactly bleeding, really, but can look like it). However, do not assume that just because a girl has not had her period that you can have unprotected sex with her without any worries about pregnancy. Plenty of girls have gotten pregnant before their first period. I believe the youngest on record was six years old. So don’t count on that.
Okay, assume someone has had her period so you know she’s producing eggs some of the time. Can you find out if she’s doing it right now?
Well, one way is to spend a few months taking the girl’s temperature every single day, observing the elasticity of her vaginal secretions, and otherwise monitoring her hormonal cycle to see if she’s ovulating or not. This is the most scientific version of the rhythm method, and it can cut your chances of getting pregnant by at least half if you don’t ever have sex while she’s ovulating (ovulating means fertile eggs are comin’ down the chute, ready to get fertilized). That leaves your chance of getting her pregnant pretty darn high. Remember, if 100 mature adult couples have unprotected sex for a year, at the end of that year 60 to 70 of those couples are pregnant. Cut that in half and that’s still at least 30 couples.
(If a girl is on the pill, that is designed to trick her body into believing she’s already pregnant, so her body doesn’t bother sending out new eggs. The pill and other hormonal treatments are pretty reliable (more on that later), but always remember they don’t protect you against STDs so you should still use condoms.)
The upshot is that the female body is pretty good at getting pregnant, and sperm have evolved to help as much as they can: they will take quite the journey, if necessary, to get to that egg. To be on the safe side, always use protection, including spermicide, and wash off thoroughly after any sex play. Any practice that potentially brings sperm in range of an egg without protection is just a good way to get a girl pregnant. And when you do use protection, make sure you use it correctly.
Good luck!